I can’t stand customizable ring tones.  It’s amazing how many women in New York City think it is funny to download the Sex and the City theme song to their boyfriend/husband’s cell phone.  Please change it back before they leave the house.

Why are the biggest transportation hubs in New York and New Jersey named Pennsylvania Station?  Train stations in Pennsylvania are not named after rival cities.

I was riding on the LIRR late one night. There was a regular looking guy in his 40s slouching in a 3-seater half passed out from drinking that evening. A young, attractive female conductor collecting tickets noticed he had a ticket for a different train line.

Initially concerned, she asked: “Sir, where are you going?”

His response, “Whichever way you’re going baby!”

She told him to stay on; he fell asleep and ended up more than an hour from where he needed to be. Advice: don’t drink and ride, and if you do, don’t harass ticket collectors.

Waiting for the #7 train at Times Square, I saw this guy inhaling a Big Mac and fries right out of the greasy, brown McDonald’s bag.  As the train pulled in, he decided he was done and crumpled the bag with both hands and tossed it behind him on the platform…ignoring the trash can a few feet to his left.

Still chewing his last bite, he grabbed a seat on the train and, out of nowhere, was viciously struck in the face with that same bag he just littered. French Fries and ketchup exploded all over his white button down shirt.  Looking up with complete shock and anger, a gray bearded homeless man appeared in the doorframe, pointing with all the authority a 110-pound man could muster, yelling, “SOME PEOPLE LIVE DOWN HERE, A–HOLE!” The doors closed shortly after. What goes around comes around I guess.