I’m amazed that sewer rats have no fear whatsoever of oncoming subway trains.  They just go about their business as speeding locomotives rumble right past their heads.  No big whup.

I always read subway ads to avoid eye contact with other riders.  So, my question is, who the hell designed the Dr. Zizmor ads?  Seriously, I want to know.

By far the worst seat on the NYC subway is the one directly underneath the subway map.  I was sitting in one of those seats the other day when a guy leaned in to read the map, 3-inches from my face, for what seemed like 10 minutes.  There has to be a better place for this.  I mean, the MTA can be creative enough to print subway maps on wallets, shower curtains, sweat socks, and earrings.  But they can’t think of a better place for it on the train?  Anything is better than directly behind my head.

There is a universal rule of the subway to let people off the train prior to boarding.  But, no one follows rules.

I was on a crowded train pulling into a crowded station.  Once the doors opened, a group of people pushed in as a smaller group pushed out.  One guy attempting to exit the train pointed to the ground on the platform and yelled, ” Is that someone’s wallet?” It was like the parting of the Red Sea – people scattered to look down and check the ground while the gentleman walked calmly through the crowd.  Nice work.

New York City subway riders know more about wearing layers than anyone else in the world.

• Winter: freezing on the train platform…boiling in the subway car
• Summer: boiling on the platform…freezing in the car

It’s awesome.

You think New Yorkers have it bad?  People in Japan have it much, much worse…

Japanese Train Station

For convenience and injury prevention, please consider printing a tabloid size “Commuter Edition.” You’re still The Times, we won’t think anything less of you for it. We’ll thank you.

If you are going to read a newspaper as big as The New York Times on the train, please learn how to fold the paper properly so as not to hit people in the head, dish out paper cuts, or elbow jab your neighbors every time you turn the page.

I think it’s funny to watch how annoyed people get listening to others talk on the phone while riding public transportation.  I’ve seen people livid, shooting dirty looks, and complaining to anyone who will listen.  Then, their phone rings, they answer, and start yapping away themselves…hypocrites!

I can’t stand customizable ring tones.  It’s amazing how many women in New York City think it is funny to download the Sex and the City theme song to their boyfriend/husband’s cell phone.  Please change it back before they leave the house.