I hate everything about mornings, especially my bathroom. My bathroom is the darkest room of the house with no windows. I dread going in there after I wake up, knowing that I must flick on a light switch that will blind me. During this temporary blackout, I am usually prone to losing balance and bumping into something sharp, causing me to writhe in pain and curse at myself looking at myself in the mirror through squinted eyes. Happens almost every day. I started wearing sunglasses to the john. Seriously.

Some guy sneezed so powerfully that he shot a huge loogie onto my friend’s pant leg from 3 seats away on the train. She didn’t even notice. But some “good Samaritan” was nice enough to point it out and give her a napkin. I think I would rather not know, and say “what the hell is this” later when it’s dried out and less disgusting.

My strangest subway experience…the global no-pants-subway-ride…

Here is a link to the story as well…

I’m amazed that sewer rats have no fear whatsoever of oncoming subway trains.  They just go about their business as speeding locomotives rumble right past their heads.  No big whup.

I was in the best shape of my life when I lived on Long Island and took the LIRR.  I had to park about a mile away from the station and run the 200-yard dash to catch the train every morning.  I don’t know why I even showered.  I was covered in sweat shortly after anyway.

I always read subway ads to avoid eye contact with other riders.  So, my question is, who the hell designed the Dr. Zizmor ads?  Seriously, I want to know.

By far the worst seat on the NYC subway is the one directly underneath the subway map.  I was sitting in one of those seats the other day when a guy leaned in to read the map, 3-inches from my face, for what seemed like 10 minutes.  There has to be a better place for this.  I mean, the MTA can be creative enough to print subway maps on wallets, shower curtains, sweat socks, and earrings.  But they can’t think of a better place for it on the train?  Anything is better than directly behind my head.

There is a universal rule of the subway to let people off the train prior to boarding.  But, no one follows rules.

I was on a crowded train pulling into a crowded station.  Once the doors opened, a group of people pushed in as a smaller group pushed out.  One guy attempting to exit the train pointed to the ground on the platform and yelled, ” Is that someone’s wallet?” It was like the parting of the Red Sea – people scattered to look down and check the ground while the gentleman walked calmly through the crowd.  Nice work.

New York City subway riders know more about wearing layers than anyone else in the world.

• Winter: freezing on the train platform…boiling in the subway car
• Summer: boiling on the platform…freezing in the car

It’s awesome.

You think New Yorkers have it bad?  People in Japan have it much, much worse…

Japanese Train Station