I was riding on the LIRR late one night. There was a regular looking guy in his 40s slouching in a 3-seater half passed out from drinking that evening. A young, attractive female conductor collecting tickets noticed he had a ticket for a different train line.

Initially concerned, she asked: “Sir, where are you going?”

His response, “Whichever way you’re going baby!”

She told him to stay on; he fell asleep and ended up more than an hour from where he needed to be. Advice: don’t drink and ride, and if you do, don’t harass ticket collectors.

Rating 3.50 out of 5